You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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