Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
