They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
