I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
