Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
