they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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