We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
