I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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