she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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