He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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