we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
