Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
