What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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