My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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