My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
