you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
