smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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