Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
