this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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