can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
