just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
