Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
