This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
