dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
