I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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