Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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