He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
