So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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