Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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