So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
