did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
