They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
