Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
MIDGETS
????
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
