I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
