i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
