I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
