well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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