So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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