I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
