I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
