so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But break dance skills will only take you so far
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
