so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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