Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
