the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
