The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
