I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
