Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
