Got a toothbrush?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
