I puked a lego.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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