First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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