I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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