If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What a dumb baby whore.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
