well you can't waste a boner
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
