Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In America we eat man semen.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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