You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
